


A little bit of a break, as a treat

by gwendee



Series: Emmitt [3]
Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack Treated Seriously, Dysfunctional Family, Fluff, Gen, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Post-Canon, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:28:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29758968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwendee/pseuds/gwendee
Summary: Gakushuu, Gakuhou and Emmitt go on vacation.(You have to read part 1 or you will be very confused.)
Relationships: Asano Gakuhou & Asano Gakushuu, Asano Gakuhou & God of Death, Asano Gakushuu & God of Death, Minor Akabane Karma/Asano Gakushuu
Series: Emmitt [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1903867
Comments: 31
Kudos: 101





	A little bit of a break, as a treat

**Author's Note:**

> Yall...  
> HAHA OMG NO I HAVE NOT ABANDONED EVERYONE I have too many ideas in my head and I am working on and abandoning so many wips simultaneously   
> And also school is kicking my ass 
> 
> So I have decided to post this today  
> and yes I'm posting two fics at the same time 
> 
> This work can take place before or after part 2 (it doesn't really matter).

**Emmitt: I stick very well to the feral bitch role in this family**

**Gakuhou: Please leave**

**Emmitt: no**

"Great news, baby brother," Emmitt says, when Gakushuu makes his way downstairs in the early morning. "We're going on vacation."

He's standing at the stove, and there are sounds of sizzling breakfast foods. At the kitchen island, his father is scrolling through a tablet, but his gaze snaps up at Emmitt’s declaration.

Gakushuu squints at the both of them.

"No," his father says to that, in the tone of voice that sounds like he's going through this script for the fifth time. "Neither of you are coming."

"Is this about your business trip?" Gakushuu yawns behind his hand, and stretches. He likes to sleep in on holidays, although he knows that most people wouldn't consider 8 in the morning "sleeping in". The rest of the Virtuosos, as disciplined as they were, wouldn't be awake for another hour or so. It’s a 50-50 toss up between Karma, who could either be dead to the world or he hasn’t even gone to sleep yet.

Contrary to that, Gakushuu is  _ not _ a morning person. At least nothing compared to Gakuhou and Emmitt, who are both decidedly extremely morning people and have probably been awake for hours and have probably gone for stupid 3 am runs or something like that.

"We're going to the US!" Emmitt flips an egg on the pan. "Doesn't that sound fun?" 

"Neither of you are coming," his father repeats.

"Gakushuu wants to go," Emmitt says, and waves the spatula in his direction. "You want to go. Gakushuu?" 

"Uh," Gakushuu says. "I was hoping to get a headstart on some of my assessments before school starts."

"Ah, shame," Emmitt says, frowning. "That's alright, then. It's fine, we've been to the states together already anyways."

"Wait," Gakuhou says. "Pardon?" 

"Oh," Emmitt says, in a deceptively cheerful tone, "we never told you?" And then he looks over his shoulder and gives Gakushuu a large wink, and Gakushuu rolls his eyes.

He goes to pour himself a drink. By which time he makes it back to the table with a glass of juice sees Gakuhou scrolling through Emmitt's gallery roll with a betrayed expression. Gakushuu looks over his shoulder - it’s pictures from Gakushuu’s last school exchange trip to the states. He didn’t technically go with Emmitt, but Emmitt just so happened to be there, and they hung out. That’s it.

Gakushuu looks at his father’s face. He sighs. “You know you’re being baited, right?”

“And it’s working,” Emmitt sings. “Don’t worry. I already booked the tickets.”

Gakushuu sighs. “And I suppose I’ll go pack.”

“Eat up first,” Emmitt says. He slides a plate under Gakushuu’s nose.

“Are you happy with yourself?” Gakushuu asks him. “Are you satisfied with what you’ve done?” He starts mentally sorting his schedule in his head. He’s underbooked for this holiday, because nobody actually wants to study with him in the break between middle and high school. 

“Of course sweetie,” Emmitt says. He ruffles Gakushuu’s hair as he walks past, and then also Gakuhou’s, and Gakuhou swipes at him with a fork.

“You guys went to the MET?!” Gakuhou rages.

"I can't believe," Gakuhou seethes, "that you  _ cancelled _ my business class and got us seats in  _ economy _ ."

"You have to be adaptable and assimilate in all environments," Emmitt says chippily. "Blend in with the common folk."

“How exactly did you get us seats next to each other?” Gakushuu asks. “The flight was - supposed to be - fully booked.”

“Was it?” Emmitt says peacefully. 

Gakushuu eyes him warily. "Did you kill someone? Please don't say you killed someone to get an empty seat for a flight."

Emmitt shrugs.

"I'm claiming plausible deniability," Gakuhou mutters. 

Gakushuu, as he shuffles forward in the line of fellow economy passengers, listens wearily to his two guardians bicker over seating arrangements. The passenger in front of him turns back in curiosity, one eyebrow raised. Gakushuu gives her an apologetic look.

He ends up seated between the both of them. 

It’s a long arduous flight and Gakushuu is stuck in the middle of two ridiculously petty people.

"I'm going to watch a movie," Gakushuu says out loud to the aforementioned two people glaring at each other over his head. "Don't bother me."

"Let's watch it together," Emmitt says, not breaking eye contact with Gakuhou.

"No," Gakushuu says, and plugs his headphones in. 

At some point he dozes off a little, and he wakes up to uncomfortable jostling on both his sides because Emmitt and Gakuhou are Very Tall and the seats are Not So Tall. 

"Your fault," Gakuhou hisses.

They’re whisper-arguing.

"Shut up," Emmitt hisses back.

"Brat."

"Old man."

"Scoundrel."

"Bastard."

Gakushuu can’t wait to go home. "Both of you, shut up."

"You woke him up."

"No, you!"

**Picture this: you're on a 13 hour flight, you can't watch a documentary on unsolved murders without your brother grinning over your shoulder and pointing out the ones he remembers, your father has somehow talked the flight attendant into giving him the business class wine menu and now your brother is reaching over you to poke your father to order him a glass of red but your father is ignoring him so now he's poking you, and you've clicked out of the documentaries section and for some reason the emoji movie is looking really good right now and reminding you of a giant octopus that might as well have had an emoji for a face.**

**Then the flight is blessedly over and the cab ride to the airport is so blissfully short in comparison that you don't even register the bickering of your two guardians over your haze of relief, until you reach the hotel and your father looks like he wants to flip a table so you finally take off your headphones to pay attention to what the fuck is going on this time?!**

“You got us one single room?” Gakushuu bemoans. He was looking forward to having some privacy for himself and more importantly time away from his two well-meaning and incredibly overwhelming vacation companions.

Gakuhou, expectedly, looks equally annoyed as he opens his mouth to protest. Emmitt seems scarily serious about this, though, when he drags them both to a corner of the hotel lobby and stares them down until even Gakuhou is fidgeting.

"It's safer if we're together," Emmitt insists, arms crossed. 

"This isn't an action movie," Gakuhou snaps, "what will happen? Unless you're purposefully inviting trouble-"

"Die if you want to, but Gakushuu stays with me-"

"You're insane if you think I'll-"

Gakushuu sighs and makes himself comfortable on the seats. He starts texting his friends back in Japan. Ren's sent him an online copy of the textbook. Araki's sent him pictures of cafe food. Karma's sent him a selfie and a laughing emoji. Seo's sent him a voice message, which he can't hear over the racket.

Gakushuu kicks Gakuhou in the leg. "The both of you are too loud. Everyone's staring."

Emmitt falters a little - just barely, but because his modus operandi is being discreet, he's a little put out.

Gakuhou blinks, surprised at the change in demeanor, and stares at Emmitt for a surprised beat. Then frowns, and sighs, and then says, "fine, a single room."

Emmitt looks at him, wary. "There's two beds."

Gakuhou rolls his eyes. “Fine.”

"What about me?" Gakushuu says.

"You'll get a bed. Gakuhou'll sleep on the floor."

"If this is your idea, you should sleep on the floor."

**[Time skip of either 5 minutes or 5 hours]**

**Gakuhou: where the hell did you-**

**Emmitt: I swiped it from the airline panty. Don't give me that look, they're not going to miss it.**

**Gakushuu: you stole a bottle of liquor from the airplane?!**

**Emmitt:**

**Emmitt: I can go return it if you wanna** ****

"But-"

"No," Gakuhou says. 

"You're underage," Emmitt agrees, before swiping the bottle from Gakuhou's hands and taking a large swig from it.

"Ugh," Gakushuu says. He scowls as he texts Karma, who offers nothing of substance and simply laughs at his plight. On the bed adjacent, Emmitt and Gakuhou are passing a bottle between them in silent camaraderie. Despite not saying a word to each other, Gakushuu gets the distinct horrifying feeling that they're  _ bonding _ .

"I'm going to ignore both of you," Gakushuu says, putting on his headphones. He pulls out his laptop and clicks on his school notes.

From the corner of his eye he sees Emmitt say something to Gakuhou and Gakuhou say something back, and then they're standing up, what the fuck, so he pulls his headphones back down. 

"We're going for a walk," Emmitt says, and ruffles Gakushuu's hair.

Gakushuu narrows his eyes at both of them. "Walk, like…"

"Scoping the place out," Emmitt says cheerily.

Then, "you're not coming because it's dangerous for little kids."

Gakushuu glances at Emmitt, then his father, then the bottle - oh, it's empty. "You're just going to the bar," Gakushuu complains.

"Bars are dangerous," Emmitt winks, wagging a finger. "That's where all the criminals hang out.

"We'll get you an apple cider on the way back up," Gakuhou says. 

"Ugh," Gakushuu says. He can't believe Emmitt and his father actually abandoned him here alone. To go drinking. Together. 

He texts Karma about it, who, predictably, laughs at him.

Gakushuu wakes up when light starts streaming in through the hotel room windows. He'd fallen asleep last night before Emmitt and Gakuhou had even come back, from a mixture of exhaustion and jet-lag, so he can only hope they didn't kill each other while he was too out of it to stop them. He rubs his eyes bearily and takes off the headphones, and turns towards the nightstand to set them down.

Then stops, and stares. 

On the bed adjacent are his father and Emmitt curled up against each other, fast asleep. There are several empty bottles on the floor next to the bed, 

Emmitt is a little spoon.

Gakushuu's finger twitches. He wants a picture. He  _ needs _ a picture. He's probably going to die if he even attempts taking a picture. 

Gakushuu makes sure all his phone settings are silent and then he takes a picture.

"You'll delete that if you know what's good for you," Emmitt mumbles.

Gakushuu startles. "I thought you were asleep!" He says, out of reflex more than anything, because he's pretty sure Emmitt can probably tell him what the weather was even in the middle of his REM cycle.

"Mhm, I am," Emmitt says, unconvincingly. His eyes are still closed. Does he sleep with half his brain awake? Does he sleep like a dolphin? Is he a dolphin?

"Shut up, both of you," Gakuhou says.

"I thought YOU were asleep!" Gakushuu accuses.

"I would be if you two didn't keep talking," Gakuhou grumbles, and then… tightens his hold on Emmitt. Emmitt does not eviscerate him. 

Whatever happened last night is a can of worms Gakushuu does not want to touch with a ten foot pole.

"I'm…" Gakushuu motions towards the door, "going to grab breakfast."

"Mhm," Emmitt says sleepily. "Zzzzzz."

"Get us ibuprofen on the way back," Gakuhou tells him.

“No,” Gakushuu says.

Gakushuu is poking around the continental breakfast buffet when he’s approached by a group of four people - fellow hotel goers judging by their attire.

“Good game last night, man,” one of them says, clapping him on the back. It takes Gakushuu a second for his brain to catch up. “Oh, you’re talking about my father?”

“Your… ah!” One of the men laughs. “Yeah, yeah, I see it now. You look too young.”

Gakushuu is amused. “...Thank you.”

One of the girls looks around. “The two not around?”

“They’re sleeping off their hangovers,” Gakushuu says sunnily. Something tells him that Emmitt and Gakuhou won’t tell him a single thing, so the opportunity to interrogate someone else for the happenings of last night is too good to pass up. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen them that drunk.”

The group laughs. “After nine shots, I’d expect them to be that drunk?”

“N-nine? Like each, or-” Gakushuu sighs, slapping his forehead. “Of course they’d try to outdrink each other. Of course.”

"Sit with us," the girl says, and nudges him towards their table. "How old are you?"

"Sixteen." Gakushuu munches on an eclair. "That's why they wouldn't let me follow them to the bar."

Gakushuu learns that at shot 4, Emmitt pushed a pole-dancer off the stage and did what he hears was a fantabulously stunning routine, and that there are videos taken but none of his new friends have the good sense to show it to him (“I feel like your dads will somehow find out and kill us.”) (Gakushuu knows that explaining their very strange family dynamic is a lost cause, so he lets that… assumption slide.) 

During shot 5, an arm wrestling match between the two broke a bar table, so his father had to swipe his black card. At shot 6, Gakuhou went on about how his son was the best kid who had ever lived and Emmitt had agreed, and then they started fighting over custody.

By shot 8, everyone thought they were either married, exes, or soon-to-be, until Emmitt scrawled on a napkin a contract for shared custody and Gakuhou signed it, and then the two of them downed one last shot in solidarity.

“The barkeep threw the napkin away, but they just left it there, so,” the man shrugs.

“Shame,” Gakushuu sighs, genuinely disappointed. He wanted to see the napkin. 

The group waves him off as they go out on their sightseeing tour, and Gakushuu hops over to the hotel convenience store pharmacy. 

Gakushuu kicks the door down. "Wake up."

They're still in bed. Ugh.

"Zzz," says Emmitt.

Gakuhou lifts his head. "Did you get my Ibuprofen?"

"You have a meeting in four hours,” Gakushuu reminds him, setting some painkillers and water bottles on the bedside table. He makes a face when he kicks one of the glass bottles set down by the bedside - it’s empty, luckily.

Emmitt, evidently not asleep, snickers. “I hope you lose your business deal.”

Gakushuu rolls his eyes.  “Get up,” he says to them again.

The two continue to ignore him.

Gakushuu reaches over to grab a pillow from his bed and smacks them over the head. 

Emmitt generously lets the pillow hit him once, and then he yanks it out of Gakushuu’s hands with a surprising ferocity like it was a murder weapon (it could very well be!). But he only hugs it to his chest in a very anticlimactic fashion. “Nap with us,” Emmitt yawns. "Your dad’s a nice pillow."

Gakushuu makes a face. "I haven't slept with him since I was five."

Emmitt wriggles and pats the empty space next to him. "Come on. Cuddle fest."

"Ugh," Gakushuu says.

When he clambers into bed, Emmitt throws a blanket over him. Ugh. He's right - Gakuhou is a nice pillow.

"If you two get up now, I bet there’s still breakfast downstairs,” Gakushuu cajoles.

“Please don’t talk about food now,” Emmitt says.

“Zzz,” Gakuhou says.

“Both of you smell like a bar,” Gakushuu complains. “Can one of you at least go take a shower?”

“Zzz.” 

“Zzz.”

Gakushuu kicks a leg.

“Ugh.” It turned out to be Emmitt’s. “Fi-ine. I’m using all your soap, though.”

“Don’t you dare.” Gakushuu says, and Emmitt staggers towards the bathroom with all the grace of a hungover person. 

Something clatters to the ground, and a string of muffled curses rattles off. 

Gakushuu nudges his dad. “Wake up.”

Gakuhou cracks an eye open to glare at him. “You’re such an insufferable child.”

“I got you your Ibuprofen. I have things to do and places to be.” He doesn’t, really, because he’s on vacation, and even if he wasn’t, his original schedule already accounted for a period of do-nothing-time which he supposes he’s cashing in now.

In response, Gakuhou smothers him with the sheets. 

“Let’s go be tourists while your dad does boring business stuff,” Emmitt suggests.

Gakuhou glares at the both of them.

“My dad needs boring business stuff to earn money so we can do things like impromptu vacations and paying for bar tables you break,” Gakushuu says.

Both his guardians pause mid-routine. Emmitt turns to stare at Gakushuu with narrowed eyes for a beat, then grins. “I’d ask how you figured that out, but really I’d be disappointed if you didn’t.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Gakushuu says.

“Don’t look at me like that, Gakuhou,” Emmitt says. “I’ll text you where we end up. We won’t go to the MET without you.”

“I wasn’t,” Gakuhou starts, but really, they’ve been living together for a year, Gakuhou should stop trying to out-psych the master assassin. Gakuhou sighs. “Fine.”

Ah, the times and trials of family bonding. “Where are we even going to go without dad?” Gakushuu says. 

“I don’t know, there’s probably something fun to do somewhere,” Emmitt says. “Maybe we can rob a bank.”

“Don’t rob a bank,” Gakuhou says, tiredly. He’s the picture of an exasperated parent, who knows that their toddler would definitely end up drawing on the walls despite best efforts but still having to say it anyways. 

Gakushuu never drew on the walls, because he didn’t have a death wish. Emmitt, however, seemed exactly like the drawing-on-the-walls kind of kid. Gakushuu wishes he could have asked Koro-sensei about it.

“Pfft, spoilsport.”

**[Timeskip: 5 hours? I guess?]**

**Emmitt: did you lose your business deal**

**Gakuhou: fuck you**

**Gakushuu: can we have one day without this? Is that too much to ask?**

**(In the background, Gakuhou and Emmitt are fighting. Gakushuu smiles pleasantly at the camera. "Having someone else that the each of them can fight with - in both wits and brawn - helps them exercise their destructive tendencies in moderately safe ways that result in the least collateral damage.")**

**Gakushuu (humming off-key): make-ing my wa-ay down-town...**

**Emmitt (to Gakuhou): do you wanna go to taco bell**

Emmitt's eyes drastically widen. He swivels around and shoves Gakuhou and Gakushuu behind him, then backs them into an alleyway.

Gakushuu doesn't even have time to react - his father pulls him back further and squeezes him into a corner of the wall. Gakushuu is not a little kid that has to be manhandled, dammit!-

But then the screaming starts.

One, two, three cracks in the air of a pistol, Gakushuu grips onto his father's jacket. Four, five, six.

His father is rubbing circles around his back. Emmitt pushes them further back. "Come on," he whispers, and Gakushuu barely hears him over the cacophony.

"What's happening?" Gakushuu says.

"Armed robbery down the block," Emmitt says. His eyes flick to the alley entryway - one way out, one way in, a bad place to be. "They're taking hostages."

Gakuhou's grip tightens on Gakushuu's shoulder.

"I'll get us out," Emmitt says, pauses, watches Gakushuu and Gakuhou carefully. Something unsaid passes between his two guardians, and before Gakushuu can ask, Gakuhou's picked him up like a sack of potatoes with a single arm - and maybe Gakushuu still has a lot of work to do to catch up on his father's strength, after all. 

"Hey!"

"Shush," Emmitt says. "Or we'll blindfold you."

That's hardly necessary!

"Can you parkour?" Gakuhou abruptly asks him.

"Can I- can I WHAT?!" 

Gakuhou doesn’t bother waiting for him to reply because his father sucks and thinks he knows everything, and everything included Gakushuu’s parkour abilities. He’s right, but he didn’t have to jump to conclusions like that and toss Gakushuu into the air.

Gakushuu spends a few terrifying moments in free fall - he's too shocked to scream - before Emmitt catches him and they're against the wall now three stories up. He's balancing on nothing except sheer willpower. What the fuck. 

His father vaults over the wall - yep. Gakushuu hates him. 

"If you drop me, I'm killing you," he hisses.

"Sure," Emmitt humors. "Tuck your head in." 

Somehow, miraculously, they end up on the rooftop, what the fuck. Gakuhou mercifully put him on an air conditioning ledge to let him catch his breath before hauling him over his shoulder.

Gakushuu is never going to tell anyone about this, ever. When Karma and the Virtuosos ask him what he did in the states, he’s going to say he fell into a coma for his entire duration of stay. He’d threaten Gakuhou and Emmitt to secrecy.

Gakushuu's on his hands and knees waiting for his color vision to come back to him. 

"They're running," Emmitt says, looking over the building parapet.

Gakuhou's joined Emmitt at the ledge. "What do you see?" 

They exchange words too soft to hear. Gakushuu loves the both of them and he's glad they're getting along, he really is, but a foreboding sense of dread tells him the world is going to end. 

"Were you hiding that all this while?" Gakuhou exclaims, and it seems that Emmitt is - yep, what else did Gakushuu expect, he's pulling parts of a sniper gun from various pockets on his body and fixing them together.

"This will take a minute," Emmitt says.

"Oh my god," Gakushuu says. 

Bang. "One."

"Holy shit," Gakuhou says.

Bang. "Two." 

Pause.

"Third guy's running. I can't get him here."

He makes to stand, and Gakushuu grabs his arm. "Are you going to?-"

"It'd take like five minutes, tops," Emmitt says, grinning down at Gakushuu, and ruffling his hair. 

Emmitt slowly removes Gakushuu's arm from his sleeve but it's quickly replaced by Gakuhou's grip. 

Gakushuu looks at his father in surprise. 

There’s an uncharacteristically soft look on his father’s face now, brows knitted, a small frown on his lips, but-

"Be careful."

"Please, Kuho," Emmitt says, and Gakushuu- 

Gakushuu feels like he missed something big here- perhaps skipped a few steps- blinked too many times during the important part of a movie- knocked over a few lego bricks and stepped on them-

Emmitt-

Emmitt  _ smiles. _

Gakushuu looks between the both of them - from Gakuhou, to Emmitt, back to Gakuhou, back to Emmitt, in abject betrayal.

"Darling,” Emmitt says, “I'm the best assassin in the world."

Gakuhou  _ laughs _ . He _laughs._ Gakushuu told him the world's funniest joke the other day ("I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. I’m not really a mourning person") and Gakuhou didn't laugh but now? At this moment? At _this_?!

Gakuhou is smiling. “Yeah. You are.”

Emmitt grins, and raises his hand in a wave, and then he suddenly blinks like he remembers Gakushuu is there. Gakushuu doesn’t know what face he’s making but it makes Emmitt laugh at him, and mess with his hair, and then he vaults over the edge of the roof.

Gakushuu wordlessly turns to his father.

Gakuhou stares back flatly.

"I'm taking the stairs down," Gakushuu tells him.

**Emmitt catches up to them, not even remotely out of breath. "See, my darlings, I'm all in one piece!"**

**Gakushuu kicks him, lightly. "Next time, when you're trying to be dramatic, do anything else but _jump over a building_."**

"I hate both of you."

They're at the MET. 

Karma's texted him, "we've been knew, folks," in response to the frantic spam Gakushuu'd sent him.

"You don't mean that," Emmitt says.

“No,” Gakushuu says. “I do.”

“Son,” Gakuhou says. “Do you want me to get a picture of you next to this painting of this peasant wailing at the sun? He looks just like you.”

Emmitt laughs, and zips up his jacket, which Gakushuu now knows is home to 50 assorted weapon parts and/or their associated accessories.

"Ugh," Gakushuu says loudly, and brisk walks away from them.

**Gakushuu: I can't believe they're friends**

**Karma: ...yeah**

It takes only a single meeting for Gakuhou to close a business deal because he's that killer of a businessman, and all that excitement made the three of them a little bit homesick, so they're on the next flight back to Japan.

"I'm not taking the middle seat this time," Gakushuu warns them.

"But we like you best," Emmitt whines.

"I can only tolerate him in small doses," Gakuhou says managimously. 

"We'll kill each other 13 hours seated together," Emmitt says brightly.

“I’ll push him off the plane.”

“I’ll upgrade the both of us to business and leave him in economy.”

“I’ll fly the plane.”

“I’ll-”

"-Fine," Gakushuu sighs.

**Author's Note:**

> (incoherent screaming)
> 
> do not @ me about the status or specifications on Emmitt and Gakuhou's relationship PLEASE I don't know either I can't answer you


End file.
